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Nothing screams "alpha" quite so clear As walking on tacks with no sign of a tear. Fuzzy ones are for the worthless and weak, Agony slippers are what real men seek. With every step, shout "No pain, no gain!" Clench up the jaw to conceal all the strain. Strap the spikes and forge ahead— True manhood walks on mountains of dread. Your feet may bleed, your soul may cry, Just smile through agony, man up and die... Off to bench press my emotions ladies.